Wow, chill woman.

I found myself surrounded by badass women. Everywhere. I feel so honor to be around them, to be able to learn from them, laugh with them, read them, listen to them, just to see them go live life actually. It has taught me so much. From my grandma who’s my biggest example of strengh to the little girls I take care of who are the most fearless little ones. Every single of them has this fire inside them, this capacity to love and fight and not settle that amazes me daily. I want to dedicate this post for all the women that had cross my path in one way or another. For those that I haven’t have the opportunity to meet personally but that with their books had opened my eyes to life lessons that had swifted the way I think and interact with the world. To those who I share my life with, with whom I’ve learn we are capable to do whatever we set our minds to. To those who gave me life, my mom, my sister you are the definition of girl boss and I couldn’t adore you more. To those who came before me and had open so many doors and opportunities. To those who will come after me that will continue to fight and change the world for the better, to all those fisty little girls that still live inside of us.

I have never felt so angry, dissapointed, confused, shocked, sad at someone as I did last week. I went on this date. He was handsome in his own way. We started talking and walking. The weather in Paris was just out if this world. The sun was shinning, everyone was outside enjoying it. You could see and feel the good vibes everywhere. The city was golden. We started our walk by the quais and something was off right away. I couldn’t put my finger into what it was excatly. We continue the small awkward talk of the first date, but there was something different. He looked at me like I wasn’t even there. He talked and talked and talked, but with more attention I realized he wasn’t talking, he was just complaining about everything and everyone. I tried to push through and change the subject to something more positive, but he ended up finding always the worst side of it. By then I just was thinking about how I was going to escape in a polite way from what had been the worst date ever. We past through a small group of LGBT people who were protesting.

“ugh you have to be fucking kidding me” he said.

In my mind, I thought: dont ask Andrea, you really don’t want to know the answer to that, just don’t do it.

“what is it?” I asked knowing I was about to regret it.

“I just hate this guys, they are so entitled they think everyone cares about who they sleep with, we don’t! stop doing everything about you guys, you can’t can’t have kids? well that’s not my problem, nature didn’t give you the option for a reason. Stop annoying everyone just for things no one other than you care about.”

I was shocked. I coulnd’t stop looking at him with my mouth wide open. He could’t see it because I was wearing my mask, so I think he misunderstood my eyes, and continue.

“I mean, clearly they are sick, it’s not their entire fault. They have a disease. They should take care of that instead.”

I didn’t know what to do or what to say. My mind was running wild, my heart was beating so fast. I wanted so bad to do the right thing, but I didn’t know how to.

“Don’t you think you’re talking from your privilege? I said quietly.

“Privilege? what privilege? it’s prove scientifically it is a disease, and I am a man, I know better.” he said.

I AM A MAN, I KNOW BETTER. I repeated in my mind.

“So you’re saying me, that just because you’re a guy and I’m a girl you know better? You don’t think you have a privilege? you’re a white european dude and you think everyone has the same opportunities and rights as you? you think everyone gets treated as you get treated just by being a white guy? you don’t think there is nothing wrong with the world and everything is as it should be? you honestly think no one cares about injustice?”

I was giving him an out, a way to make things right, maybe I was jumping to conclusions way too fast. I wasn’t.

He stared at me for a few seconds.

“Wow, woman chill. If you want me to be completely honest I will be, I don’t even think women should be allow to vote. So that sums everything I guess”

My blood was burning hot inside me. Last year I went to the women’s march here in Paris. It was an incredible experience. I saw women, man, old, young, entire families, loners but every single one of us united for justice. United in all our differences, raising our voices as one for what is right. I felt hopefull for the future. And this day, the day of the date I felt like I was living in a different era. Lots of lots of years ago, but it was february 2021 and sombody was telling me he knows better cause he is a man. Somebody was telling me I shouldnt be able to vote just cause I’m a girl. Somebody was telling me “chill woman” for speaking up my mind.

Reality kicked in fast and strong. This is the world we are living in. This is why we can’t pretend everything is fine. I have till this day to experience guys telling me the nastiest comments about my body, cause they feel they have the right to. I have to live in a world where guys treat you like you are just a piece of meat. I have to live in a world where gender pay gap is a thing. I have to live in a world where if I’m quiet I’m cuter. I have to live in a world where I get judged for speaking up my mind. I have to live in a world where in my country 11 women get killed daily just cause they’re women. I have to live in a world where I’m afraid to get raped if I wear a skirt a little too short. I have to live in a mans world. But then, I realize I don’t have to. I don’t want to.

As Maya Angelou said: “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” I learnt my lesson, even tho the world is as messsed up as it is, I don’t have to follow the same path. I’m ready to speak up and never, eve,r let anyone else tell me to “chill woman”.

Bisous,

A